Day 7: Dying to Self — How Motherhood Teaches Christlike Love at Home - October 5, 2025

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“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” — Philippians 2:3–4 

A mentor/friend, whose children were grown, shared a story with me when my children were small. Her story greatly impacted how I viewed my calling as a mom while raising my children.   

She told me about a time when her children were young, when she had been looking forward to going to a ladies' event at church that was coming up. The long-awaited day finally came, and she spent the day making sure everything was prepared so that she could leave the kids with her husband.  

While preparing dinner for her family, one of her children said she wasn’t feeling well. After evaluating her child’s symptoms, she concluded that she was coming down with some virus. It quickly became evident that she would be needed to help care for her sick child that evening, and she called her friend, who was going to pick her up, and told her she would not be going to the event.  

Disappointed, she quietly cleaned the dinner dishes and helped prepare her other children for bed. Then she went in to check on the one who was sick.  She sat down on her bed and spent some time talking, and during their discussion, that child began to ask questions about Jesus. After a lengthy conversation, my friend was able to share the gospel that evening, and her child prayed to receive Christ as her personal Savior.  

It was only a couple of years after that evening that her precious child was killed in a car accident. “Gina”, she said to me, “I was so disappointed about missing that ladies' event! But had I not stayed home that evening, I would have missed the opportunity to lead my little one to Jesus!”  Even though she grieved the death of her child, she had confidence that she would see her again one day in Heaven! And God used HER to introduce her daughter to Jesus! 

Motherhood gives us ample opportunity to sacrifice our own desires so that we can meet the needs of our children and love them as Christ loves us—sacrificially and patiently. We are in a battle with our deeply self-centered hearts. And yet, this very context is the perfect training ground for learning Christlike love and sacrifice for his bigger purposes.  

Loving others as Christ loves requires dying to self. Motherhood strips away our entitlement, expectations, and sometimes even comfort. We often are forced to cancel plans or forgo going to an event we have been looking forward to. In those moments, we experience disappointment and frustration because it feels like we give up so much of ourselves.  

But in that dying to self, we are being molded into His image. The very things that feel like loss—sacrificing time, energy, and personal desires—become avenues for us to love like Christ loves and to partner with God in his plans for those moments. 

The Gospel and Love 

Jesus demonstrated the ultimate act of selflessness by laying down His life for us. The cross was the moment of total surrender, where His comfort, will, and rights were laid aside for the good of others. 

In motherhood's small, everyday moments, we are called to imitate that same humility and love. Feeding, comforting, or caring for a sick child may feel mundane and draining, but it mirrors Christ's sacrificial love. We practice the same love that saves and transforms when we die for our desires. 

The gospel gives us the strength to live this way. It doesn’t depend on our natural patience or endless energy. It relies on the Spirit of God working through our surrendered hearts. It requires us to be sensitive to how the Holy Spirit is leading and to walk in obedience.  

What Can We Do? 

1. Pause and pray. When you are called to sacrifice your desires, take time to breathe. Before reacting in frustration, whisper a short prayer: Lord, help me be willing to give up what I want to do and choose to love like You love. Help me see how you want me to serve my children now.  
2. Ask God to give you His perspective. Learn to view your children as gifts, not interruptions. Each request or need is an opportunity to be used by God in your child’s life. 
3. Depend on God. Invite the Holy Spirit to empower you to love in each and every sacrifice. Ask Him to enable you to hear what He wants you to listen and to walk in obedience.  

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT 

1. Have there been times when you have had to give up doing something you wanted to do, to care for your children, and you could see God’s greater work accomplished as a result? 
2. What does it look like for you to prioritize Christlike love over personal comfort today? 

LET’S PRAY  

Father, motherhood daily stretches me in ways I never imagined. I confess that sometimes I respond in frustration, selfishness, or impatience. Teach me to die to self and love as You love. Fill me with Your Spirit so that even when I am called to sacrifice something important to me, I can respond with patience, humility, and grace.  

Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/ SolStock

Gina Smith is a wife of 37 years, mom of 2, and grandma of 3. She is  a writer and author, writing her very first published book in her empty nest years. She has a passion to come alongside the younger generation to encourage them, strengthen them in God, and learn from them.  You can find Gina at her website www.ginalsmith.com, and her book Everyday Prayers for Joy can be found anywhere books are sold. 

Related Resource: Soft Words for Hard Days: A Conversation with Aundi Kolber

Some days feel heavy. Some moments leave us wondering how to keep going. If you’ve ever longed for encouragement amid life’s hardest moments, I have a special episode of The Love Offering for you. This week, I’m joined by therapist and bestselling author Aundi Kolber to discuss her latest book, Take What You Need: Soft Words for Hard Days. This beautiful collection of quotes, scriptures, prayers, and gentle exercises is designed to be a balm for your most tender places—a reminder that you are never alone on your journey to healing.

In our conversation, we explore:
✨ How to hold space for yourself and others in difficult seasons
✨ The power of compassionate words when life feels overwhelming
✨ Practical ways to embrace healing and take one more step forward

If you like what you hear, be sure to subscribe to The Love Offering on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!